Funny quotes about religion and politics

God gives us free will; politicians give us free advice (and it’s worth about as much).

Religion is like Wi-Fi—some people have full bars, others can’t connect at all.

Politics is the only job where everyone tells you how to do it, even if they’ve never done it.

In politics, you can’t serve two masters—but you sure can try to fool them both.

Religion is supposed to bring peace, but have you ever seen a church committee meeting?

If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal—or at least tax it.

Religion teaches humility, and politics teaches how to fake it.

The only thing more confusing than the Bible is a politician’s explanation of it.

Politics is like chess—except all the pieces are pawns.

Some people pray for miracles; politicians just call it a campaign promise.

In religion, we trust God. In politics, we trust… well, we try.

Heaven help us if politicians ever learn to pray—they might start believing their own promises.

Religion offers salvation; politics offers re-election.

The Ten Commandments are pretty clear. Maybe we should run Congress the same way.

In politics, there are no atheists—just believers in their own greatness.

Religious debates start with “Amen”; political debates start with “You’re wrong.”

Confession in religion cleanses the soul. In politics, it just gets you into trouble.

Faith can move mountains, but in politics, it takes a bulldozer.

If politics were a religion, spin doctors would be the new priests.

Religion saves souls; politics just saves face.